0f all pe0ple, I hadn't expected her t0 be the first t0 call 0n my 20th birthday nite, I hadn't really! Thanks a l0t!:) h0nestly, I was kinda scared when she rang; it was the way she talked. Anyway, we had a very civilized conversati0n *just as well I was turning 20, I felt slightly m0re 0f a mature pers0n afterwards, haha ;) * Kinda nice, I sh0uld say. Well... we haven't talked f0r ages, and it was really, really nice- j0king and catching up 0n stuff. Quite h0nestly, I hadn't expected we'd talk t0 each 0ther, ever again. It used t0 be a scary th0ught- she being 0ne 0f the m0st preci0us friends 0f my life and all. I've t0 say, I've really missed 0ur friendship m0re than I th0ught I have. H0w did we bec0me strangers all 0f a sudden? It's sad, really. Well... I just want her t0 kn0w, she'd 0nce been my preci0us friend, she is n0w, and she always will be. I 0we y0u l0ts, friend. Can't wait t0 see her, my m0st-missed friend, ILYA :) thanks f0r making that m0ve, and remind me h0w nice it is t0 call y0u MY FRIEND :)

Thank y0u all..!:)

= Ilya, Ilhamfaez, Adeeb, Mai, Firah, Ahadi Is, Aliaa, Cher0d, S0’bah, Aya, Hadzwan, Della, Shai0, Dennis, Miera, Deqna, ... (these ppl are the earliest t0 wish me *and remind me 0f this half-happy, half-sad day, huhu*) and every0ne else yg wished me. Thanx..!

Half-happy, half-sad... it's my birthday, and it means I'm an0ther year 0lder, and yg lg sedey dah takdek 'teen' dah kat blakang :( zmn seventeen, nineteen dah abis. Urgh..! lagi sad, I've g0t chickenp0x! :'( ni lg tensi0n, dah ar nak raye, I can't eat s0 many things.. hampeh! My m0ther b0ught a birthday cake, but my fam just sang happy birthday s0ng and let me cut the cake, but then they ate it, and I wasn't all0wed t0 eat MY 0WN BIRTHDAY CAKE..! That's quite the cruelest thing in the w0rld 0kay!! S0 I let them take 0ne slice each and I put the rest 0f the cake in the fridge, muakakaka~ pdn muke! I'm gonna keep the cake until next week, 0r the week after that, 0r cut it sh0rt, n0 0ne is all0wed t0 t0uch the cake until I'm healthy en0ugh and able t0 eat my 0wn birthday cake with0ut getting gatal2 0r rash 0r ape yg patut. Kalau cake tu sp0ilt pun, takper ar. Tp mmg takdek sape bley mkn, huh..!!:P

i will survive~

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
I kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights just thinking how you've done me wrong
And I grew strong, I learned how to get along

And so you're back from outer space,
I just walked in to find you here with that, that look upon your face
I should have changed my fucking lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.

Oh now go, walk out the door
Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?

Oh not I, I will survive
Yeah, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive.
I've got all my life to live,
I've got all my love to give,
I will survive

It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart,
I'm tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feelin' sorry for myself,
I used to cry,
But now I hold my head up high.

And you'll see me with somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you.
And so you thought you’d just drop by and you expect me to be free,
But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me,

I WILL SURVIVE!!!!

life??

sometimes we just don't have the least bit of strength to face up to things in our lives, and when we can't get a grip on reality, everything seems to fall apart into pieces, and knowing that we have to come out of the ordeal without relying on anyone else always manages to get us s0 knackered to the point we begin to think incoherently, and nothing seems real anymore,, life is a matter of choice, is it really? y0u can choose to be happy or sad- can we still believe in this cliche anymore?,, and when it's y0u who's deciding on things, the consequences will all come down to y0u, and it's inevitably y0u who'll be looking back on things and muse, and sometimes regret for in the 1st place it was y0u yourself who chose it and in a way, let it happen,, it's sad though, how we wish things will always be fine when we're wide awake and realize it can only happen in dreams- sweet dreams,, emotions can wear off, but at times scars are left,, and when it seems t0 heal, some awful thing will just crop up out of nowhere and give it an even worse pain,,

another dubitable cliche-it's better to have loved and lost than not to love at all,, does it really go that way? when y0u're the one who keeps crying your heart out; bearing in mind that y0u can get over it and have things sorted out and start all over again and throw yourself into some other misery (again) and in the end, do the same thing- repeat the same cycle for the rest of your life- feigning that the whole rubbish is s0-called experience and that they're inevitable and instead neccessary to broaden your horizon and to av0id y0u from doing exactly the same mistake again; whereas it's all crap! if only it's possible to turn back time....

~MiRaiE~

Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
My mother gave me so much kindness
"Embrace love and walk," she said over and over
At that time I was still immature
I didn't understand her meaning
She held my hand
And walked with me
Our dreams are always high in the sky
It's scary that they might not come true
But we still continue to chase them
Because it's our story
We don't want to give up
When I was unsure she held my hand
And walked with me
There were times when I hated that kindness
When separated from my mother I couldn't be obedient
Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future

There were times when I hated that kindness
When separated from my mother I couldn't be obedient
Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
Turn towards the future
Let's walk slowly

~MiSsiNg YoU~

Whenever I miss you,
It always brings to mind,
The thoughts and hopes we shared,
And our many happy times.
And the quiet moments too,
I think of all the things,
So unique to me and you.
And though the many miles,
Make it seem we're far apart,
Warm memories like these,
Keep you ever in my heart.
It seems some people have a way,
That very few possess,
A way of being gracious,
With special thoughtfulness,
A way of giving all they do,
A warm and loving touch,
By sharing acts of kindness,
That mean so very much.
It seems some people touch our lives,
In all they say and do,
The very dearest people,
People just like you.

('_')

Iman kept callin me yesterday, but i didnt answer any of her calls, i'm so sorry pal,,i knew exactly what was she gonna talk about, n it's just dat i was not ready to talk about it,,n more precisely, i dont feel like talking to anyone, about anything as of rite now,,i've had quite a rough day yesterday, despite of the morning,,n i just feel like every lil thing's harassin me at the moment,,it's sort of unfair to other ppl when i ignore em or refuse to answer their calls or talk curtly to em,,it's sooo unfair,,they aren't at fault should i feel awful,,sorry,,nway watched 2 movies last nite,,watched 'ada apa dgn cinta' today,,hurm,,it's fine,,but i couldnt really understand the entire conversations, but still gettin on well with the plots,,En Ariffin msged me, he's got the card,,u're welcome! n Ilya too,,it's one day early though, but still, better early than never huh? modified a bit,,oh yeah, msged Nerk last nite but i dont think she got it,,but then, even if she got it, i wouldnt know, coz she wouldnt make an effort to reply,,hurmm,,it's started to rain the past 2 days, n i bet everyone's extremely grateful that it does,,i dont feel well, i mean mentally,,not physically,,my throat's fine by now,,i did consume alotta warm water, but my lips still chap,, ciao~

h.a.p.p.y.b.i.r.t.h.d.a.y.N.E.R.K!!

i dont know how to reach this girl, i think she doesnt use the last number she gave me anymore,,nway tanjobi, omedeto gozaimasu!!,,may Allah bless u always,,when was it the last time we talked to each other? hurmm,,a coupla months ago,,well,,i suppose she's undergoin some practical phase at the moment,,gonna finish her diploma very soon,,so all the best gal!!

(`_`)

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I'd be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do
I'm such a fool
For you

I can't take it
what am i waiting for?
my heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you!
It's true
I'm stuck on you

life goes on~

i've sent Leen's birthday card, and Masha's, and Yunie's =) too yesterday,,dont forget to send Qilah's today!! and Ilya's next week,,hehe~ i might be good at remembering important dates but i can be a bit forgetful when it comes to posting,,(actually bkn forgetful pun, malassss)hoho~ had to ask for the adresses from Iman though, i dunno where did i put my address book, and even though some of my frens' adresses are already in my head, but still, sometimes only the house no pops into my mind, and at some other time it's just the street name,,hehe~ so in order to get the complete address, i'd better look for the book,,nway Della msged me, haha~ sorry pal, how was i to know u were at KLCC too dat day? i was all alone n i spent most of my time readin books at Kinokun,,ok next time i'll ring u 1st kay? =) to Azam-i wasnt savin' budget as u claimed yesterday kay,,hehe~ i was readin some book i didnt intend to 'main sms' wf anyone,,sorry kay? n heck, i shouldve called Leen and Wynn abt the trip,,*sigh* i've always been a big fan of procrastination,,go dial the numbers b4 it's too late!! ok ok ;p

:: so beautiful~ ::

You're my everything
The sun that shines above you
Makes a blue bird sing
The stars that twinkle way up in the sky
Tell me I'm in love
When I kiss your lips I feel the rolling thunder
Through my fingertips
And all the while my head is in a spin
Deep within I'm in love
You're my everything
And nothing really matters but the love you bring
You're my everything
To see you in the morning with those big brown eyes
You're my everything
Forever and a day I need you close to me
You're my everything
You'll never have to worry have no fear for I am here
For my everything I'll live upon the land
And see the sky above
And swim within the ocean sweet and warm
There's no storm my love
When I hold you tight
There's nothing that can harm you
In the long night I come to you and kiss you very warm
Oh you're so strong my love
You're my everything

wishin' i could change the way the world goes round~ (`_`)

Sometimes it's wrong to walk away
though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
You just want to change the way the world goes round

Tell me
Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see
That's the way I feel, about you and me... baby
Have you ever felt that your heart was breaking
Looking down the road you should be taking
I should know...
cause I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised
It was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moments gone I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

and the reason is you!!~

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

nice song~

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh, things are gonna happen naturally
Oh, and taking your advice and I'm looking on the bright side
And balancing the whole thing
Oh, But it often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh, Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of, others only read a of the love
Oh, the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages, for words
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Oh, love love, you and I, you and I,
not so little you and I anymore, Umm
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Well that I’m almost finally out of
I’m finally out of
Finally-dee-deedle le dee dee
Well I’m almost finally, finally
Well I am free, Oh, I'm free

And it's okay if you had to go away
Oh, just remember the telephone well their workin it both ways
But if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others just read of and if you could see me now
Well that I’m almost finally out of
I’m finally out of, Finally-dee-deedle le dee dee
Well I’m almost finally, finally
Out of words

i've always loved this song~ ^_^

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change,
Keep on thinking things will always be the same.
But when we leave this year we won't be comming back,
no more hanging out cuz were on a different track
and if you, got something that ya need to say,
you better say it right now cuz you dont have another day

Cuz we're moving on and we cant slow down
these memories are playing like a film without sound
and I keep thinking of that night in June,
I didnt know much of love but it came too soon.
And there was me and you and we got real blue,
stay at home talking on the telephone, with me, we'd
get so excited and we'd get so scared,
laughing at ourselfs thinking life's not fair...
And this is how it feels...

CHORUS
As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
FROM whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever...

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money,
when we look back now will our jokes still be funny?,
will we still remember everything we learned in school,
still be trying to break every single rule?
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye,
Keep on thinkin its a time to fly,
And this is how it feels...

CHORUS


la, la, la, la... yeah, yeah ... la, la, la, la
We will still be,
Friends Forever
------
BRIDGE
------
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow? (somehow)
I guess I thought that this would never end,
AND SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE WE'RE WOMEN AND MEN
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Or will these memories fade when I leave this town?,
I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye
Keep on thinking its a time to fly...